Remember Zeppelin’s Music Hall? UPDATED


EDIT: While Unions are protesting the lazer-bullet-rattlesnake-tornado-torpedo of Right-To-Work laws being throttled through the legislative process, Mallot is busy hanging out with Keith Richards and Johnny Depp?

[ Original Photo ] [ Zep’s Photoshop was posted here ]

UPDATE: If you can’t get to the Zeppelin’s Facebook (because he deleted it like a coward), the OG photo appeared like this with the text:


A free trip to NYC, awesome room overlooking Central Park at the
Helmsley Park Lane, VIP laminate, and the best seats in the house to
the hottest show in music history and a cool varsity tour jacket.
None of which would have ever been possible if not for the
misrepresentations of a Lansing newspaper and the integrity of a R&R
God who didn’t like being used as a pawn to destroy a community music




I don’t have a Facebook account for a lot of reasons [here, here, here, and of course here] but if I did I might have caught on to what Michael Malott of Zeppelin’s Music Hall has been up to a little sooner. If you’re from Lansing you probably remember the two articles that appeared in the City Pulse about the place, first the article introducing the living room sized venue that costs $100 to rent, and then just five months later the piece highlighting the framed panties of musical tumor Courtney Love, and the totally not-made-up story that he really spent as the road manager for Van Halen that actually-happened-on-Earth-and-not-in-his-mind.

Well it looks like the venue isn’t doing shows anymore, and Mike has quite a bit of free time to launch a homophobic smear campaign against City Pulse publisher Berl Schwartz.  Take some time to visit [SITE IS NOW DELETED], where Malott takes every opportunity to let you know that Schwartz is non-heteronormative, and posts both the name of Schwartz’ partner and their home address in case your idea of being a tourist in your own town includes hate crimes.  The “Berl Betrays A City” section of the site references a hilarious yet fictitious book by Malott using the nom de plume William R. Vanderbilt entitled Without Integrity, Ethics or Pride: The True Story of how Berl Schwartz and his Lansing City Pulse Publication Undermined an Entire City for Greed, Profit and Revenge.  If you like to laugh, please take a minute to preview the book on! Spoiler alert:  He calls Lansing a shithole, and the back cover notes that all proceeds of the book will go to the racist bigots at the American Family Association.  If you like his work, please check out some of the other works by this celebrated author:

Lansing: Abandoned Businesses, High Crime and No Future – A gripping work of skewed statistics ripped directly from the headlines of a real estate search site.

You Got To Be Kidding Me!: Outrageous Spam Emails – A compilation of spam emails with no editorial.  The perfect gift for anyone with a blind hatred for trees.

One of my friends actually tried to order one these books, but the order was cancelled.  He was bummed, but it would probably be a bigger bummer if these books were real.

Anyway, when that place first opened Malott tried to organize battle-of-the-bands competitions which are the hallmark of exploitative bullshit.  If you open a joke of a venue with no insight into the local music scene, its your fault when it fails.  So fuck your shitty club, fuck your rock and roll stories, fuck your fake charity (try listing what you have donated, not what has been donated to you), and most of all fuck your homophobic hate speech.



8 thoughts on “Remember Zeppelin’s Music Hall? UPDATED

    • Hey Jeff, I understand that you are probably loyal to Zeppelins because they are one of the only venues for your…”comedy” [youtube linky link] (BE CAREFUL VIEWERS: YOU CAN’T GET THESE 15 MINUTES BACK!!), but after watching your set I get the feeling that you can’t just bang some rocks together and figure this one out, so let me break it down for you using the theme of your comedy routine which appears to be “tired toilet humor with a dusting of misogyny read from a piece of paper”:

      – Malott opened a lame music venue in an area of town already saturated with lame music venues. He might think he has his hand on the pulse of the local scene (by grabbing what he assumes is its collective throbbing erection, but its really just a cast-off worm-ridden dildo), but he is so clueless that he doesn’t even realize that he is clueless.

      – Many local musicians, journalists, and east side residents could smell the desperate yet delusional odor of the place (translation: full of shit), but others like you who are less discerning chose to chomp down on the putrescent phallus that is Zeppelins because you are perhaps “inngrant” about confirmation bias or differentiating between positive and negative attention.

      – The City Pulse wrote the first article about Zeppelins where they really just let Malott do the talking introducing the venue. I guess they figured if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all…so they just gave Mallot some print, or a rope if you will, and let him hang the words.

      – If you build it people come, and if it sucks they won’t. So people didn’t come out over the summer. I don’t think Malott would have wanted a story about how his venue was lame and he couldn’t cover operating expenses, but he blamed The City Pulse for the failure of his business. So after he harassed the paper they finally capitulated and did a story. Instead of writing anything bad, they once again just let Malott do the talking. And thankfully they did because it was fucking hilarious and I still chuckle just thinking about it. Van Halen!

      – Around this time, a flyer was circulated around Schwartz neighborhood calling him a pedophile that showed his photo and home address. The .biz website went up defaming the publisher using homophobic language. It used imaginary books by made up authors citing false statistics to bolster its case. Unlike Malott, The City Pulse has to tell the truth or they can get sued.

      – Malott gets to work on his charity which apparently gets a ton of donations but feels that its best to display them instead of actually pass on any benefit. I think thats a strange operational model, but its really not any further out there than the premise of the music hall itself.

      – Malott says that Keith Richards flew him out to see the Stones in NYC, and posts a picture of him with Cap’n Teague Sparrow as proof. Well, it wasn’t Malott in the photo, it was Johnny Cap’n Jack Sparrow Depp. I pointed this out and then the Zeppelin’s facebook page got deleted.

      I’m a lifelong Lansing resident, and I’ve owned a home right around the corner from the venue for 10 years. Homophobic pathological liars are not welcome in my community, so that is what I’m bitching about.

      • Hey Jeff Bears – Actually if you look on the internet, it was these guys who changed the photo and replaced Mallott with Depp’s photo. In the actual photo of Depp and Richards on the internet that this Depp image came from, Richards is wearing a black suit with a red shirt, He has his arm on Depp’s shoulder in the very same fashion (hence where they got the idea likely) however in the photo with Mallott, Richards is wearing a blue shirt, but somewhere between theses guys pulling the photo from the internet and these guys posting it, Richards changed clothes????? (also notice that Richards has something in his hand that’s pink then its gone) There are photos of him wearing that outfit in a total of seven occassions I found just on the first page of Richards images on google search. But none with Depp in that stance? Most photos of him with people he has his arm on their shoulder. Anotherthing that is really interesting is they refer to Mallott as a homophobic, yet I’m pretty sure Mallott is a fag himself and he in fact has a book out called, Pride, so not sure how a guy who is obviously gay can be a homophobic??? Mallott is also named in the Van Halen, Live Without a Net concert video after a guy named Scotty Ross in the end credits, he showed us that at the club. So, that’s a pretty good trick for Mallott to be able to get his name on their video credits. As far as the City Pulse having to tell the truth, they can get away with making misrepresentations because they have protections to make “errors” of the truth. Ever hear the term “freedom of the press”? And why couldn’t Mallott be sued? Not hard to find him and he has money, cars, and Worhol art? That paper contacted a webmaster for a Keith Richards website instead of contacting Richards management, why? So, the end question is where did Mallott possibly get all those donations including the Keith Richards one, which I saw myself when we played his club along with the envelopes addressed to him, if they claim he lied about it? Mallott would be too lazy to spread flyers around a neighborhood like they claim, I couldn’t even get him to put up our flyer in his own club. So, they’re saying what? he dragged his kid around this guys neighborhood? Surely someone would have seen him, especially with a kid, unless the guy lives in the country. From what I know of the guy, it probably was a legit flyer? So, some things on both ends are’nt adding up.

        • I’m going to respond as if the previous entry is Michael Malott, because it fucking is…you aren’t fooling anyone but yourself.

          I photoshopped Depp in instead of you? Seriously? Any idiot can see the shirt, the hand, the hat, the earring don’t move. But maybe it takes a special kind of idiot to say he was wearing a red shirt when a link to the original photo is RIGHT THERE IN THE FUCKING POST. Click THIS LINK, dingdong.

          A self-published digital press book isn’t a fucking book. That’s like saying some MP3s on are a record. However, it is a good solution for “books” and “records” where your mom and three of your friends are the only people who are going to buy it. That way there aren’t 496 LPs stored in your mom’s basement and the environment wins! So you uploaded some photos to so you can make a few bucks off of the SF gay community, that doesn’t change the site where you posted his home address coupled with the text makes for a thinly veiled threat.

          Live Without A Net concert, eh? Well it just so happens that video is online where you can view it for free. I now hate you more than ever!!! I’m tired of liars winning, so I’m compelled to call you out on your bullshit. You know what else is bullshit? VAN HAGAR! YOU MADE ME WATCH A VAN HAGAR VIDEO YOU SHITSLEEVE. Click HERE you sad man. Credits start at 1:30:07 and guess what? You nor Scotty Ross are in there. Conversely, just because you claim no one saw you circulate flyers doesn’t mean that it wasn’t you. Absence of evidence isn’t evidence.

          I had been inside Zeppelins once but I didn’t see the memorabilia. If you’re so hellbent on proving that these things exist you could post pictures but you’re probably sooo above that moving on to your Ann Arbor location? Too busy being a coward deleting your Facebook? Please respond, because I can’t wait to hear what stupid fantasy shit you have up your sleeve.

    • So you are saying that I photoshopped Johnny Depp into this photo? For someone who attacks a bum for mispronouncing ignorant, you should spell check your own posts or you might be forced to read insults from a piece of paper at yourself in the mirror.

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